Cut The Cheese

Cut the Cheese

"Birdy," because little and high-strung and delicate gestures, always moving with the music from records new and old. "Doodle," because fidgety with pen or pencil, always on paper, book covers, walls, desks, drawing on endless inspiration, non-stop visions: angels, snoopys, snakes, snails, ookpiks, kitty cats, animal astronauts, bunnies and bears.

They are dreamers. Neither of them likes the circular saw in shop. Remember the guard, wear a visor, beware of binding, watch for build-up of sawdust: Mr. Cripshaw can give them all the tips he wants, the students still see he's missing two on his right hand.

Birdy and Doodle, best friends, playing Twister right now because secretly in love. Hands and feet go in circles. Flick the arrow and find the colour to go into next. Bend around each other while the record player, piled high, drops one single down and then another. Doodle's mouth smells like artificial strawberries and chocolate, glistens with the thick clear lip-gloss. Birdy's breath carries a whiff of licorice all-sorts.

When I wake up in the morning light
I put on my jeans and I feel alright
I pull my blue jeans on
I pull my old blue jeans on

Birdy and Doodle, best friends in the basement with pressed board wood paneling and soggy shag. Doodle's dad hadn't done the greatest job with the home reno, but the bar with squares of smoked mirrors and so much liquor to choose from makes it a worthwhile hangout something to brag about at school. Crème de menthe is a favourite. The grown-ups don't seem to miss it.

It's the weekend and I know that you're free
So pull on your jeans and come on out with me
I need to have you near me I need to feel you close to me
I need to have you near me I need to feel you close to me

Mom's corner of the basement has a big sewing-machine cabinet covered in laminate that is supposed to look like oak. Above it, she's hung four sad, big-eyed children that she bought at an artists' fair in the K-Mart parking lot a couple of years ago. She wears pink and yellow Phentex slippers down here to keep away the chill.

You and me will go motorbike riding in the sun and the wind and the rain
I got money in my pocket got a tiger in my tank
And I'm king of the road again

Doodle is sort of on top in the game, says, "I am ruler of all things," and kind of squashes down on Birdy a little.

"Get serious," says Birdy. "Quit with the cheese. Cut it out."

Doodle farts and they both laugh, twisted around each other so they almost fall.

I'll meet you in the usual place
I don't need a thing 'cept your pretty face
And I need to have you near me I need to feel you close to me
I need to have you near me I need to feel you close to me
I need to have you near me I need to feel you close to me

***

Judy MacDonald is a writer, editor and journalist based in Toronto. Her most recent book is a collection of stories published by Arsenal Pulp Press, titled Grey. MacDonald is editor emeritus for the online magazine, rabble.ca. She fell in love with Pete Dako's saw blades the minute she saw them in Zsa Zsa a few years ago. Meow! For more: http://rrrart.blogspot.com/

The lyrics are from "Jeans On" by David Dundas and Roger Greenaway. The song was originally a commercial jingle in England for Brutus Jeans, then released in October of 1976. That year, it was on British charts for 13 weeks, spending 3 of them as a Top Five hit that summer It was in the Top Twenty in North America in 1977.

Jude MacDonald | Three Rs Art
website: http://rrrart.blogspot.com/